Leo Tolstoy His Life And Work Autobiographical Memoirs Letters And Biographi

Cover Leo Tolstoy His Life And Work Autobiographical Memoirs Letters And Biographi
Leo Tolstoy His Life And Work Autobiographical Memoirs Letters And Biographi
P Pavel Biriukov
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The conceptions and prejudices of the society from which I had issued were still fresh in me. I did not believe then that I could fall in love with this woman. I admired her, as I admired the beauty of the mountains and of the sky, nor could I help admiring her, for she is as beautiful as they. Then I felt that the contemplation of this beauty had become a necessity of my life, and I began to ask myself whether I did not love her ; but I did not find in myself any- thing resembling the feeling ...such as I had imagined it to be.
1 The Complete Works of Count Tolstoy, vol. Ii. Pp. 260, 261. VOL. I. I 130 BIOGRAPHY OF LEO TOLSTOY This sentiment resembled neither the longing for solitude nor the desire for matrimony, nor platonic love, still less carnal love, which I had experienced. I had to see and hear her, to know that she was near, and I was not exactly happy, but calm. After an evening party which I had attended with her, and at which I had touched her, I felt that between this woman and myself existed an indissoluble, though unacknow- ledged bond, against which it would be vain to struggle.


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