The Confessions of An Etonian

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As I crossed each field, I was obliged to get on the toj) of every gate in order to rest myself, notwithstanding the exertion of it. On coming to the fatal little stream in the valley CONFESSIONS OF AN ETONIAN. 101 which divided the parishes, I became sensible that I had no strength to clear it, and that, should I attempt it, a total submersion must inevitably be the result. I had no time to hesi- tate, so at once walked througli the ford, though at the time I was in a profuse and faint-like pe...rspiration.
On reaching the church, I found myself to be in good time, but had not proceeded far in the service, when I discovered the clerk to be in such a state of drunkenness, as would have ap- peared to the least fastidious, blasphemous and repulsive. In this dilennna, I knew it would be useless to tell a noisy boisterous fellow to hold his tongue, so at once, quietly but quickly, reaching his book, I placed it in my reading- desk, and the fellow, without a munnur, re- signed himself to his fate and went fast asleep.


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