The Honest American Voter's Little Catechism for 1880

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They met. Up gets old Evarts. Says he to the Commissioners:"Boys"--I mean--"Gentlemen! The first duty of a Judge, if he wantsvery badly to find the 'cat in the bag, ' is to look up the chimney. "Here he winked at the Judges on Joe Bradley's side. They say he lookedvery much like Beecher, when he proved his innocence in Brooklyn. "Therefore, " says he, "if the involutionary concatenation of apolitical residuum approximates to the concordant volitions of aRepublican effervescence, it is extra sel...f-evident that judicialinvestigation into supernumerary circumstantial totality, is beyondthe hypodermic flexal radiation of your illustrations. " The argumentwas short, but it settled the case!
But I don't understand a word of it.
--What does that matter? He didn't himself. But they voted on thequestion all the same.
How did the vote go?
--Well, that _is_ a simple question! Why eight to seven, to be sure!What he said was supposed to mean they had no right to take evidence. The 'Pubs agreed with him.


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