Cheap Turkey

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The sena- torial toga; aye, even the presidency, for should not the people's best gifts go to those who did the most for the people? The mayor had a right to be complaisant* The scheme was a good one* he assured the editor* He had been considering it himself* As a matter of fact, he hadn't, but that is neither here nor there* The details were worked out and the Clothing De- 28 CHEAP TURKEY pository was opened for business with an advertising; campaign consisting of prodigal amounts of the "Beag...le's" most valuable space space that a mere middleman could not purchase* The question of saving the people as much as possible had been given a great deal of consideration at the hands of the mayor and the editor and at the "hands" is singularly appropriate* A large expense in connection with the sale of clothing aside from rent is in the salesmanship* It takes time to sell a man a suit, and time is money even when it is rated at only $20*00 per week* After pondering the per- plexing problem for some time, the mayor, with his accustomed and in- imitable, homely, commonsense way of settling a question, shouted: "Why, man alive, every man knows what 29 CHEAP TURKEY size suits he wears; well just assort the suits according to size and let each man pick out his own* We'll have a turnstile where he can pay, and just outside he can wrap it up himself* All well need is a guard at one end and a cashier at the other* Well have a regular clothing serve-self/' "And we can sell the clothing at exactly cost*" "Sure, " agreed the mayor j "the clerk-hire for the guard and the cash- ier can go into the regular budget*" "That's afl right, " said the editor, "but who will open the cases?" "Cases?" asked the mayor blankly* "Yes, cases, " said the editor, impa- tiently j "clothing comes in wooden cases*" "Well, " said the mayor, philosoph- ically, "the guard can do it when 30 CHEAP TURKEY things are quiet* In a pinch the pub- lic'fl help him out, seeing they get the stuff at cost/' A whole page of the "Beagle" pro- claimed the gladsome news to the world that is, gladsome to all with a few minuses that scarcely need to be mentioned* Bakers and butchers and grocers and coal men and their assist- ants who had been "eliminated, " faced a delightful prospect of using a sum- mer suit through the winter, and the Clothing Serve-self afforded them comfort only in the sense that misery loves company* So the public, with these exceptions exceptions growing larger with every step in the cam- paign was very glad to purchase clothing at cost; and while the cloth- iers fumed and fretted, the "Beagle, " with its golden words of yore, bade 3J CHEAP TURKEY them not to be so selfish.

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