Hope to Die

Cover Hope to Die
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“You okay, Dr. Cross?” Brower asked.
I lifted my head and looked at him with eyes blearier than his own. “No, I was hoping … I don’t know.”
“You want to sit down, sir?” Brower said, offering to help me to one of the tables.
“I’m okay,” I said. “And I’ve got a long way to go. Can I get the coffee and pastries take-out?”
“Sure, straightaway,” he said, glancing at me one more time as if he were afraid I might tip over.
My head felt scalded as I watched him pour the coffee and bag the pastries. If h
...e said anything else, I can’t recall it.
“How much?” I asked when he pushed the cup and the bag toward me.
“On the house,” Brower said, bowing his head. “Sorry about your son.”
Nodding slightly, I took the coffee and the bag as if I were breathing in confusion and exhaling defeat.
“How far you got to go?” Brower asked, looking concerned.
“What’s that?”
“Where are you headed?”
“No idea,” I said, then turned and walked toward the door, dreading opening it, feeling like I was exiting the coffee shop and entering a bleak, dark future, an eternity of hopeless pain, an end to all I ever was and all I ever could have been.


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