Keeping Up Appearances; a Farce in One Act

Cover Keeping Up Appearances; a Farce in One Act
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Bill's expecting of me, I says, and instead of staying in comfort at the bottom of the sea I kicked off the body of the cabin boy wot was clinging round my leg ; and 'ere I am !
Bill. It was very — t-t-thoughtful of you — Silas — but you always was — thoughtful. Good-bye !
Mrs. Burtenshaw {sitting up and looking around).
Lor' bless me, Bill, whatever are you talking to yourself like this for ? Are you dreaming or wot ?
Bill {gripping her fiercely by the aryn). Dreaming — dreaming ! I wish I was
.... Look at it !
Mrs. Burtenshaw. Look at what ?
Bill. At the bottom of the bed. Can't you see it ?
Mrs. Burtenshaw. See what ?
Bill {in a hoarse whisper). The ghost — the ghost of my dear, kind old pal, Silas Winch ; the best and noblest pal a man ever 'ad. The kindest- 'arted Mrs. Burtenshaw. Rubbish ! you've been dream- ing, and as for the kindest- 'arted pal, why, I've often 'card you say^ Bill. Hsh ! I didn't, I'll swear I didn't. I never thought of such a thing !
Mrs. Burtenshaw.


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