Merely Mary Ann

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Unconscious of changes in herself, she could not conceive herselfrelated to his variations of mood; still less did she realise theinward struggle of which she was the cause. She was vaguely aware thathe had external worries, for all his grandeur, and if he was by turnsbrusque, affectionate, indifferent, playful, brutal, charming, callous, demonstrative, she no more connected herself with these vicissitudesthan with the caprices of the weather. If her sun smiled once a day itwas enough. How shou...ld she know that his indifference was often avictory over himself, as his amativeness was a defeat?
If any excuse could be found for Lancelot, it would be that which headministered to his conscience morning and evening like a soothingsyrup. His position was grown so desperate that Mary Ann almost stoodbetween him and suicide. Continued disappointment made his soul sick;his proud heart fed on itself. He would bite his lips till the bloodcame, vowing never to give in. And not only would he not move an inchfrom his ideal, he would rather die than gratify Peter by falling backon him; he would never even accept that cheque which was virtually hisown.


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