That Thing You Do With Your Mouth: the Sexual Autobiography of Samantha Matthews As Told to David Shields

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If I just say it, instead of pretending to know what I’m doing, maybe I can start off on an honest path. My mind doesn’t think at all linearly. I have a hard time keeping up with my thoughts and narrowing them down. I don’t know. This might be a complete mess.
In no way do I want to feel like I’m being self-indulgent, talking about all of my “issues.” Who gives a shit? Who am I to be telling a story? I have this intimacy-junkie part of me, though, that wants to provoke others to see something de
...ep inside themselves. I like breaking down barriers—not to be perverse but to find a more authentic connection. Generally speaking, we’re not unique.
A director once said to me, “Sam, it’s so exhausting for the audience to watch you hold up all that armor. If you could stop holding it up, it would be so much easier not only for you but also for us to watch. The energy required to protect yourself just gets in the way of telling the story.”
I have less and less of a need, I think, to pretend I’m a good girl.


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