The Lion And the Water Wagtail a Mock Heroic Poem in Three Cantos

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Before he his fine speech concluded, Which for three hours he had obtruded, 118 He did not think in all his charge, Either the House, the world at large, Or he it meant to castigate, (He 'd better said, annihilate, ) No, nor his venerable Sire, Could find one fault in his desire Which was, that all the world might scout, Record his crimes, and turn him out ; For, said the worthy wight, again, They all are honourable men.
Just so the crafty Antony, When murdered he saw Cesar lie, Thinking he 'd
...make a decent job If he could gain the stupid mob, Blamed Brutus, Cassius, who imbrued Their wrathful weapons in his blood ; Yet swore again, and yet again, They all were honourable men.
119 Our wight, I 'd almost said our black, When he had finished his attack, Desired his motion, with an air, Might now be read out from the Chair. Scarce was this done, but down he sat, And all began to smell a rat ; The motion, in quaint language couched, For every accusation vouched. First it insisted, without doubt, Our Leo's crimes were all found out ; Yet, were the contrary the case, Still must he be turned out of place ; And begged the King, in each event, Most cheerfully to give consent ; Which into English if translated, Means this, if it be fairly stated, Your son is guilty ; but if not, We still insist he go to pot 120 An ancient Member, in a speech That Tully might despair to reach, In manly language, unadorned, Showed how such nonsense should be scorned ; Proved our wight's words were merely gleanings ; That specious facts have different meanings ; That things, apparent on one side, Seemed to reverse what they implied ; That men might ring the changes round, And yet no word of truth be found.


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