The Lover's Dictionary (2011)

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Your grandfather dies a few months after we move in together. There is no question that I will go with you, but there are plenty of questions when we get to the funeral. I know you haven’t slept. I know you’ve spent the night on the computer, trying to pin down what you feel. I know why you didn’t accept my offer to help, just as you know why I felt I had to offer it anyway. On the car ride down, you practice what you’re going to say. You use the word confliction when you really should just say ...conflict, and you use the word remarkability, which I’m not sure is even a word. But I don’t say a thing — I just listen to you say them over and over again, because they are what you need to say.
Then we get there, and the first words out of your mother’s mouth are “Nobody’s speaking at the service.” That, more than anything else, throws you off, makes it seem like you’ve been bequeathed a bad patch of gravity. I’m bombarded from all sides — most people don’t know my name, and nobody knows what to call me in relation to you.


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