These Days a Sort of a Paragraphic Review of the Fads And Foibles And Waves And

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THESE DAYS Ther are people dyin' t'day who were never drunk before.
While out shoppin' don't cuss th' poor wrappin' girl fer bein' slow. She's waitin' f er a go ahead signal from th' bookkeeper.
You couldn' hire some fellers t' carry a watermelon, but they jest love t' lug a bowlin' ball thro' town.
Mrs. Em Moots' brother wuz so used t' seein' fast trains in th' movies that he held his ground yisterday an' wuz knocked t' smithereens.
^ Lafe Bud's cousin wuz poisoned by a bell boy at Dayton yist
...erday.
THESE DAYS It takes an exceptional child t' pass th' bill boards these days without becomin' a cigarette smoker.
Lafe Bud found a quarter this mornin' jest as some young lady wuz goin' t' step on it.
We kin recollect when a color-blind cashier or a feller that fooled a girl wuz lost t' society f erever.
Elmer Moots says ther's lots o' things in the stores he'd like t' have if they'd be willin' t do housework.
Th' trouble with killin' somebuddy or stealin' somethin' is that we've got t' worry thro' a long, tiresome trial before we fi- nally reach th' pardon board.


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