Confessions of An English Opium-Eater And Kindred Papers

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He took an early opportunity of paying his respects to me, saying, " You little devil, do you call this writing your worst?" "No," I replied; "I call it writing my best." The annihilator, as it turned out, was really a good-natured young man ; but he soon went off to Cambridge ; and with the rest, or some of them, I continued to wage war for nearly a year. And yet, for a word spoken with kindness, I would have resigned the peacock's feather in my cap as the merest of bau- bles. Undoubtedly prai...se sounded sweet in my ears also. But that was nothing oy comparison with wha^ btood on the other side. I detested distinctions that were connected with mortification to others. And, even if I could have got over that, the eternal feud fretted and tormented my nature. Love, that once in child- hood had been so mere a necessity to me, that had long been a mere reflected ray from a departed sunset.
But peace, and freedom from strife, if love were no longer possible (as so rarely it is in this world), was the absolute necessity of my heart.


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