Probation : a Novel 3

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* I did not mean anything like what you imagine. And, since you do not choose to be congratulated, T withdraw the congra- tulations. May I sa,y you have my good wishes ?
' Not unless you mean it,' said Helena coldly ; ' and, when you think how different our thoughts, and wishes, and hopes, and objects in life are, you will, I hope, hesitate before making more pretty speeches.' 'You are very severe. I think I had better say no more upon the subject. But/ he added, with that air of almost affecti
...onate interest, which Helena believed she so greatly resented, ' you are downcast and out of spirits to-night — not as you should be for your own birthday ball. How is it ?' In so matter-of-fact a tone was the question asked, that Helena scarcely felt it strange that he should put it, and began in a docile manner to explain.
PROBATION, 119 ' How can I be otherwise ? It is such nonsense. What is the good of having a ball ? I don't want a ball. I wanted to be quiet. I go about every day, from house to house, and see people starving — much better people than I am, or ever shall be — and then I have to come home, and see money flung away on a ball — for me — because such an important personage has condescended to live twenty-one years in this horrid, grimy old world ; and to put on a dress that has cost — no, I will never reveal all my shame, but 1 could tear my dress to pieces when I think of a woman whom I saw this afternoon, and who was crying as if her heart would break, because she had to pawn her husband's and children's Sunday clothes, and their best tea- things, that she had when she was married.


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