Those Red Envelopes : a Farce in One Act

Cover Those Red Envelopes : a Farce in One Act
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Jabin ! Jabin ! (Exit after ]ab.) Jess, (sobbing). Boo-hoo-hoo! He's dead! He's dead!
Enter Will, door R. Clothes torn and hair disheveled.
Will. W^ho's dead?
Jess. My father.
Will. Good !
Jess. What?
Will. No, no — I mean, when did he — where did he — what did he die of?
Jess. Red envelopes !
Will. What's the matter? Has he gone to eating paper and been poisoned?
THOSE RED ENVELOPES. 7 Jess. No. (Imitates cutting throat,) Will. Are you sure?
Jess. Of course I am.
Will. Come on — let's dance a
...jig. (Dances around joy- fully.) Jess. How dare you suggest a dance at my poor father's expense ?
Will. I'd do much more at your poor father's expense if I only knew the ropes.
Jess. I'm afraid you'll know the ropes altogether too soon. Suppose they hang you for his murder?
Will, (shivering). Come on — let's go!
Jess. Where to?
Will. To hunt for a minister, of course.
Jess, (tearfully). For the funeral?
Will. No, for the wedding.
Jess. I hope you don't think — Will. Too much trouble to think.


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